Aman’s Blog….

I read a lot of blogs and a lot of love stories, watch not much but yes some good love movies too. But I am not sure that I ever read some thing like this in my life before. If you have ever loved some one from the deep of the heart, you would love this letter written by Scarlett.I have no more better words to say this that Scarlett has written a life in these few paragraphs. For any comments, please give them on the original post coz they are much deserved there only. I am posting entire post here just to save too many page jumps. Have a read:
Dear ,
I know I will never post this letter but I need to write this for, like they say, every relationship is complete only when it ends. It came as an email, the invitation to your wedding and I was besides myself to read about the girl who would be your wife. You didn’t send me the email of course, it was forwarded by a friend who had known us from the time when such a wedding invitation would have been an unspeakable thing.
Do you remember how we met on the first day of our new jobs, new to the city, the surroundings and to each other? And yet a month later, you said I had transformed you into being more like myself, you were familiar with my love for Shakespeare, autumn and Vivaldi’s four seasons. When you looked at my initials and declared that if we got married, I wouldn’t have to change them, I had stared at you and then broken into peals of laughter. I don’t remember how the friendship grew, in what was an age of newness, you became my oldest buddy.
When I went home for the Christmas break, you asked to come along. I had looked at you incredulously and reminded you that I wasn’t called the Colonel’s daughter for nothing. You had offered to stay in a motel and stand outside my house everyday. “Why would you do such a thing?”, I had asked even as visions of my father hauling you for trespassing floated before my yes. “Because I will miss you if you go away”, you had said simply and the familiar feeling of hurried heartbeats had left me confused. I was caught between being loyal to my baggage of memories and moving on with the echoes of my heart and a reply was not forthcoming.
When I came back, you asked to meet me and right there on the office lawn with its jasmine and begonias, you asked me to marry you. “You are the one for me”, you said even as you pushed a single red rose into my hand. I didn’t say yes and I didn’t say no. I knew this was coming but I was waiting for a homecoming from someone else across the seas. He would never come back but hope is always the last one to leave the room and it stays on with the lights turned on bright,even as everyone walks away.
Do you remember how you sang to me every time you asked me if I had made up my mind and I pleaded you to stop, because you couldn’t carry a tune? Do you remember how you stopped a bus midway and walked back 3 kms to check if I was okay because I had looked upset when we bid each other goodbye for the day? Do you remember how you had pointed to the sky and given me half the stars, saying you would keep the other half for yourself if I ever went away? And yet, I took my share of the stars and gave nothing away. I remained stuck in no-man’s land even as my photograph appeared in your wallet, even as you told me that I had to merely ask and the world would be mine.
Do you remember how you offered to cancel your trip to be with me because I was going through a bad phase at work? But I asked you to go and my last memory of you will be the two of us in the moonlight where you knelt down beside me and gave me the biggest cards you had found and asked me to marry you again. When I come back, we will never be apart again, you had said. And I had let you go, even as a dull ache settled around me. And I had realized that when you have your own journeys to make, a goodbye will not shatter you. So I mailed you one day to tell you that my answer was a no, and for the rest of my life, I will chide myself for not being gentle enough. You had called up then from a land of freezing winters, late at night and asked me why I couldn’t have told you this earlier, were you not my best friend ever? I didn’t want to think of you, alone, across the seas, dealing with the pain that was my doing. And yet, I was not brave enough to deal with it so I moved on and blocked it out because I couldn’t have handled the guilt and the pain both.
So I didn’t return your calls and pretended that I had never been loved madly, irrationally and completely like you had loved me. You resigned from your job and moved away and while my scars healed, as a reminder of a stubborn memory, a faint mark remained.
I can say this now, a part of me is proud of the fact that I did not go along and say yes to you because the person I am today is not the person you loved back then. I don’t know though, maybe we could have grown together and the future would have still been rosy. And here we are, exactly 7 years to the day you asked me to marry you, love has visited your step again and this time you are in it for the long haul. For loving me beyond belief, though I may never have said it then, I give you a big thank you. For allowing me to walk away and wishing me well for my journey, I give you all my gratitude. I am sorry for all the promises and the memories and the unsaid words. I want you to know that no one escapes their heartache and that I did fight my battles and lose people I loved. In the long run, I hope time has been kind to you as she has been to me.
I want you to know that a walk down memory lane is better because of you, that I consider myself lucky for your love and faith. Someday I would like to meet your wife and tell her what a special person you are. But for now I will think of you as I remember you from that moonlit night and hope that your share of stars always shines brightly. Someday when I am old, under a fading autumn sun, I will think of you and of a love that was brave enough to allow us to make journeys alone and I will smile to myself thinking of the red roses. I hope you do too.
Sincerely,
The Girl You Once Loved

I don’t know what else I should add to it?I guess I wont coz you can’t make perfect the perfection. Just will say this that try to understand the emotions and respect your love. Remember,Its not every one who gets love and its not everyone who loves.

When one is in Love,in a relation,there is an utmost desire to do something for his/her love. To make him/her feel special,to make him/her feel that she/he is the only one for whom we are living for. To show how much we love him/her and how much he/she matters to us,mean to our heart?Every breath that we are taking,every heartbeat which is coming,is coming with his/her name. In our very existence,that person lies within. In every corner of the world,there have born great lovers who have created stories of love and sacrifice which have set milestones for people of next generations. So much,sometimes it feels amazing and surprising,sometimes it occurs weird to some that why there is a need to do anything like this for some human?Why there is a need to give him/her the place of God?But it can be understood only by those who have ever loved someone or have been loved. There are no words which can describe that feeling of contentment,that satisfaction and shine which comes in the eyes when one hears those words of appreciation and affection from his/her love. There is no reward like that. There is no gift which can be as much special and priceless as that smile which comes on your love’s face when you make her/him feel so much special. People have set examples by doing this for their loved ones. Taj Mahal is one of the biggest and oldest examples of this. For a promise given to his love Mumtaj,Shah Jahan spent 20years and made it and set an example for the coming so many generations how much one can be devotee for his/her love?What you are going to do for your love,it has nothing to do with money. It has not any relation how much lavishly you do it?All what matters is that you do it with just one feeling and that’s Love for your soulmate.If you have that than whatever you will do,doesn’t matter how much big or small it may be,it will be the best thing in the world for your love. Your message will be heard and she/he will come to know how much you want her/love her?If you have done something like this too and like to share your experience,feel free to leave it in comments.

Doing something/anything for Love and your soul mate is so much special. Yes it brings so much of joy,so much special feeling in your heart. A feeling of contentment that yes you have done something for your Love and have somehow brought a smile on her/his face which is so much difficult to get in today’s world when we have never ending pains and sadness all around us. That smile is more worth than millions of wealth even. But what if your Love asks and demands proof from you?What if he/she asks you that prove your love to me because I have some doubts on you and on your love?What you will do than?How much right it is to demand a proof from your love?In a relation where the couple is staying far from each other like in a long distance relationship,these things are more common when either one has some doubts on their partener.For some reasons its natural too but than how can one say that he/she is in real Love with that person?How did your heart say to you and convinced you at the first place that yes she/he is the one whom you were always waiting when you have doubts and need proofs from your love to prove,what,his/her Love?This is not just restricted to couples living far from each other. This happens in there too when two are living at the same place,city,state,country. But is it really right to ask to do so?I really don’t think it is even close to being right. True love needs no proofs. There is nothing which is demanded in true love. You just believe that person blindfolded. You just give. I know some of you may not be agreed with me but that’s what I feel. If you really love someone,love and trust her completely. There must not be any doubts that must be there in your heart on your love. How can we love someone when we have doubt in our hearts for that very person?True love needs no demands and proofs. Distance,miles doesn’t matter because there cant be such place where one cant see and feel his/her love. If your love is true,your heart and soul will tell this to you by themselves. You don’t need materialistic proofs to make it sure and believe to you that someone loves you. Always remember when you are asking proofs from your love,its not he/she who is not true,its YOU who is in a fix,in a doubt about your Love. Its you who must look within yourself and ask whether you really are in Love or not with that very person?How many proofs will take to prove one’s love?I dont think there is anything which can prove one’s true love.If it would be that easy to do,it would had been done so long back by someone. Its something which no one is still not able to do and never will be too coz its just a feeling which can just be felt. It has no shape. Its something which starts from your heart,grows and lives there for the rest of your life. There cant be any anything which can PROVE someone’s Love!

These are the lines which one gal is saying to her love. She is telling him what she can do for him and what she has decided to. Its so touching to feel her deepest desires in these lines. These are in Punjabi. I shall translate them in English just now. Have a read:

Tere naam te umar likhan devan,
Har janam milan da kar wada!
Je main phul ban gayi ta pau phul banana,
Iko tahni te khilan da kar wada!
Hovan din te suraj banana pau,
hovan raat te channa,chann ban jai!
Tainu dil di gal suna ditti,
har janam milan da kar wada!

The translation of these lines in English is as follows:
I am going to write my entire life on your name,
Just promise me that only you will meet and love me in every life of mine!
If I shall be a flower,promise me you will be too and you will be with me on the same branch.
If I shall be a day than you have to be sun and if I will be night,you have to be moon.
I have revealed and shared my deepest desires to you now.
All I need is a promise that you and only will love me in every life of mine!

I shall conclude by saying this that do whatever it takes to bring smile on your love’s face and make her/him feel so much special.Whatever it takes,how much big or small it may be,just do it!Dont think that what you are going to do,what place it has in someone else’s or this world’s eyes.You are not doing it for world.You are doing it for that promise,for that smile,for your loved one who matters more than this world to you.Just go ahead and do it.But never ask any proofs from your love to prove his/her love to you.Its a slap on the face of your lover and an insult of that love which he/she has for you in his/her heart.True love never expects and seeks any proofs and explanations because there cant be any for it.You love someone because you just have to.If there is a reason for it which you need,if there is any proof to be somewhat sure,ask yourself twice are you really in Love?

Some times in very few lines or words, a lot is said, all the pain and/or joys are told in very few words. I read these lines some where. I wont be explaining their meaning in any other way as those lines in themselves say a lot. Let me know what you thought about them. Have a read:

You made me cry,

You tore me apart!

You left me in tears,

You have shattered my heart!

It wasn’t your fault,

I know it was just me!

I must knew, love isn’t forced,

And you never loved me!

Now that I know,

It still doesn’t help!

Because for some reasons,

My heart won’t let go!

I shall quietly leave some day,

Coz that’s the last that I would do!

But it wont be so easy as I just said,

Coz of bleeding wounds given by you!

I always dreamed to be in love,

Thought its a heaven full of joy!

But I lost all the smiles,

When you threw me away like a waste toy!

I made a mistake,

I longed for little love and some smiles!

Never knew, all that’s meant for me,

Are pain,tears and just cries!

That day this pain started,,

Dreams shattered and reality struck too!

When my love was slapped and you said,

I never loved you, have nothing anymore to do with you!

As I said before when I wrote Few Words and Once Again that I am no where even near to be an artist and not trying to be too. What ever is there in these lines, it is just what my heart says and feels about somethings. For me, it just giving words to my feelings so if there is some thing that is not right or doesn’t make sense in an artistic way than just assume, it was never intended to be like that at the first place. Do let me know your comments for sure, good and bad, both are equally welcome.

I still remember the first day we met,
I still remember the first words you said!
I was alone, never met love ever before,
You came, it felt as a wave met the shore!
I felt contended, I felt complete,
You were my every wish, everything I ever need!
We started a journey holding hands,
Life became heaven as touched by a magic wand!
There was happiness, there were only smiles,
With you, endless dreams I set in my eyes!
Everywhere was shine of dreams, warmth of those smiles,
But I forgot, dreams shatter too with the sound of cries!
We made a promise of being together forever,
You broke it when you said, you loved me never!
You changed your path, said we have to get apart,
Left me behind with the pieces of my crushed heart!
Those pieces now drop through these lonely eyes,
They will never stop, no matter how hard I shall try!

Those of you who know me from some time,they must be thinking that I have somehow left my routine of studying Oracle and have chosen to become an artist.No thats not the case.I am nowhere even close to be one and I really doubt if I shall ever be just 1% of that too.I tried to take the risk of writing this again just because these lines were constantly coming in my mind.I just pen them over here.Your comments are always welcome.So here it goes….

Together we were,I remember today those times again!
But I cant smile and there is just so much of pain!
I just wished for some memories with smiles!
All I got are tears with endless cries!
I waited for hours believing you will come!
But you never cared even just to turn!
I gave up all just for your sake!
Is there anything that you forgot to take?
I loved you as I loved no one ever before,
But you took my love and made it a whore!
Words you spoke have tore me apart!
I had only one but you broke that very heart!
I still forgive you coz thats the last I could do!
But signs wont ever fade of the wounds given by you!
Loving someone else is just not my case!
So now I hide my broken heart beneath this smiling face!

Past 2 days and coming few days are not so much good.I am nowhere near even to write a piece of art or anything like that.What I have penned down just now,which you will read next, are just some random thoughts.They may sound so much idiotic but as I said before I am no “Shakespear”,so if this makes you smile,you are most welcome to smile.
I loved someone from the bottom of this heart,
but my love left me saying that we have to get apart!
I am standing alone today,thinking what went wrong,
what I failed to give,what I couldnt do to make her love for me that strong!
May be thats the way of life that you have to let go of someone whom you love the most,
May be thats the way of love,you cant be with just that one whom you want to be with the most!
I looked my world through her eyes,heard the sweetest sounds from her whisper,
She was everything for me always,but may be today I am no-one for her!
Today I am left all alone in this big world, to cry,
There is so much pain in this heart,there is nothing left to try!
They say that this pain will go someday so will the tears,
But my heart knows,this pain will go once when these eyes will close and these tears will dry!

Some times things do not happen according to our wishes. Sometimes we want something but its just us who wants that. As it is said,a clap is by both the hands but a slap is by one!So if there has to be a clap of joy than both the hands must come together but if you want to slap someone,either one will be handy!It takes a lot to make something complete and successful. So much of effort,strength and dedication is required to make something(anything ) complete and successful. But there is one another thing which is also required and is above all,that is will,desire. If you don’t desire deeply from the heart,you wont be able to put your best effort for it. And if the best efforts wont be there, results also will be just average or may be not according to you. It applies to every aspect of our lives. Where ever you want to see, you can see this logic working.
This is also true for relations. Relations are so much delicate yet so much important. There is a lot that is required to keep a relation and make it complete.Alot of effort,will and strength is required to make it a life-long asset. You have to put your everything for it to make it that much successful.Dont expect that it will happen automatically. Don’t assume that its not your duty, its just the part of the other person to do everything and when your part comes up, you can produce some excuses for being helpless and get away. There are always two persons who are there in a relation. If one is walking and the other chooses to stand on the path of love, one will always lag behind. And that person will not be able to catch up later in the passage with the other. If one person is putting everything in his/her best powers ( may be beyond that too) and the other person is not ready to even walk upon that path, who is responsible for the disaster to happen? The one who is giving everything just to make sure that everything must be fine or the other who is not ready to take the first step? When two persons are in Love, both of them must be having one vision towards the future of them. If anyone is in doubt or is not willing to do anything for the sake of their relation, he/she will be responsible of crushing someone’s soul and heart! Always remember,its not just one moment/event which is responsible for anything. When a volcano blasts, its process is already started so long back. The pressure starts getting building up and at one moment, it just blasts!Its never one moment. The one who is trying to hold everything can hold till a time only. Always remember that its not the water that is around the ship which sinks it,its just that small hole which starts getting bigger and becomes the cause. Do not blame the water which keeps the ship steady and makes it going.Bame the hole!I do not know how much good analogy is this but I guess that completes the idea. Jounrney can be complete only when both would be ready to hold hands and walk together.
These are the lines which depicts the emotion of one who has lost everything for the sake of happiness and wish of his love. These lines explain that its not the one who is left alone is responsible for everything but that is responsible who has stepped back. Those who break hearts they cant tell what is love and also they cant understand it. These are in Hindi. I shall explain the meaning of these lines in English in a while. Have a read:
Milne wale se nahin, bichde hue se pucho,
Doori kya cheez hoti hai!
Rehne walo se nahin, ujdne walo se pucho,
Aashiana kya cheez hoti hai!
Pane walo se nahin, khone wale se pucho,
Izzat kya cheez hoti hai!
Amiron se nahin, garibon se pucho,
Jarurat kya cheez hoti hai!
Jis ne dil toda us se kya puchoge,
Jiska dil tuta hai us se pucho,
Ishq kya cheez hoti hai!
And the meaning of these lines in English are as follows:
Dont ask the people who met their loved ones.Ask from those who got separated!
That what is Separation!
Don’t ask the people who are living in a home Ask from those who have no roof over them!
That what is a Shelter!
Don’t ask the people who have reputation. Ask from those who has lost it!
That what is Pride!
Don’t ask the rich. Ask from the poor!
That what is a Need!
Don’t ask from that who has broken heart. Ask from that whose heart is broken!
That what is Love!
I shall conclude by saying this only that if you are that other persons who wants to pull the strings and is doing it slowly and continuously, think twice because it will be too late otherwise. Its not everyday that you find some one who is giving his/her blood and soul for relations and for you. Its not so easy to find someone who is ready to forgive one for all his mistakes and still wants him. You will find people doing one or two things for you and that too because they must be looking for some of their own benefits first in that. Its not very common to find someone who will do everything for you without asking any returns. Its not every second person who would travel miles, swim across seas or would climb the mountains to prove that he/she is true in his/her love and not just playing around(believe me,this is not from any book, its a true thing. Some do this in real too).Its not easy to get your heart and your inner self broken into millions of pieces and still loving the person like never nothing happened. Its not very easy for anyone to lose everything of his/her sake and still be happy! If you have someone like above said, treasure him, value his love. Remember, silence must be heard when you are in love. If you require words always for everything to be explained, it means still there is a lot that you need to learn and understand about love and most importantly,about your love Understand the inner feelings and their purity of that person. Listen and value those cries of that person when he had heard the most painful words from his love.Fights and arguements are a part of relation and life. They do and will happen.But never let any fight or arguement responsible for ruining your relation.Nothing is and nothing ever must be more important than your love. Go back and apologize if its you who started the arguement( it will need a self-check and guts to admit that you did it) and if the other person did that than listen to him/her patiently and forgive him/her. Anger wont solve anything, ego never takes anyone anywhere. It just leaves everything burnt out. One wont be small if he/she would say sorry and noone wont lose anything if he/she would forgive. Remember, Love is an act of endless forgiveness. But this will happen only if you are truely in love and never want to lose your love!But if you have decided that you cant walk upon the path with him than do not blame the other person being lazy and slow and spoiling the journey. Its not him who is slow but its you who is not willing and not able to match the steps with him.Dont blame that person who has lost everything in love for just your wish. Its not him/her who is responsible, it is just the other way around. Remember those who truly love, they never leave and those who want to leave they never really loved.